okay, the crusade on clutter is going really well. progress on that front has finally been made and is actually sticking to the point that it is not continuously nagging my conscious. so let's talk about something else.
i am entering a contest! and i am super excited about it! i've been working on my entry for a month now and it is half way finished. i'm really proud of myself. it is a prayer shawl contest with lion brand yarn (http://www.homespunprayershawl.com/). you are supposed to make a prayer shawl for someone that has inspired you out of lion brand homespun. i've discovered that, while it is exceptionally soft and lovely to look at, it tends to unravel rapidly if you don't knot the end immediately upon cutting. frustrating, but the result so far has been worth it. you are also supposed to write 200 words about why you made it for the person you made it for. i think fitting it into just 200 words is going to be the hard part.
anyway, i'm excited about this for a number of reasons. first, this is really the first time i'm really challenging myself in terms of a time line. i'm pretty slow when it comes to knitting, but i love it so much it doesn't bother me. having a specific window of time in which to finish is motivating me to really push myself, in terms of my general speed. second, my husband told me that he admires my knitting. the fact that he thinks it is impressive means the world to me. i know that i'm really hard on myself. i don't think i'm super smart or talented or anything. he keeps trying to convince me i am all those things. now, he is really on me about it because there is something he can point at and say "i could never do that. it is completely amazing to me." so, there's that. and third, i feel like i am really starting to come into my own on something. working on this particular project is finally convincing me that this is something i really love to do. it is making me want to learn more. admittedly, i don't know a whole lot right now. i'm still just working with the basics. there are so many techniques and stitches out there just waiting for me to figure them out and bend them to my will. i'm pretty much teaching myself here. i know that this is going to sound weird, but knitting makes me feel powerful and confident.
i believe that God creates us all differently with different gifts and abilities. we can't all be good at everything. and admittedly, we shouldn't all be good at everything. that would be chaos. we need other people. that's really all there is to it. for the longest time, i've wanted to be able to do it all myself. i've finally made peace with the fact that i can't. i don't want that anymore. i want to figure out what God made me to do. and while i don't know for sure that i've found it, i feel certain that He is looking down and smiling to himself at the fact that i am back in a place where i am challenging myself without comparing myself to others. i feel like he knows what we need, who we need. and as long as it isn't destructive, He wants to share His infinite creativity and help us understand, meeting us exactly where we are.
