first the important stuff, knitting. did a good bit of it this last month. submitted to three challenges for nerd wars (one of which was only partially finished). doing my part for the team. woo! go team 4-panel! so, for the nerd culture challenge: big (nerd) love i submitted a d4 shaped dice bag in honor of team meeples. you can find the pattern here.
for the team spirit challenge: it's fun to be bad, i submitted a pair of fingerless gloves that would look awesome on poison ivy. however, they are for me for when the weather here dips back down to a temperature that doesn't lend itself to cooking on the sidewalks. sigh, someday. you can find the pattern here (Ravelry page, login needed).
so yeah, july was long for a variety of reasons. after my family finally finished moving my grandparents (mom was super stressed over the whole thing), it was time to pack up my brother and sister-in-law for their move to new york. the week they left was rough. still having a bit of a time with my brother being so far away. to top that week off, the hubster's grandmother departed this world for the heavenly one. the funeral was really sweet and we got to see lots of family that we wouldn't normally. while we are sad she is gone, she had been battling alzheimer's disease since before i even met the hubs (according to him). i learned loads about her that weekend, and was greatly saddened to have never truly met this remarkable woman. when she was herself, she was an amazingly hospitable and godly woman that never met a stranger. i really do wish i could have know her. if you could, please keep the family in your prayers. they've temporarily lost a wonderful wife, mother, and grandmother and could use some uplifting.
so, during this month of losses (some greater than others), i've learned a good bit. i've learned that following your God with all of your heart leads you down a path of love. granted, i technically already knew this. however, really seeing how such actions played out over a lifetime was inspiring and beautiful. i pray i have the courage to follow my God at least half as loyaly as she did.
on a completely unrelated note, i've also learned that i am not as slow to anger as i would like to be. i've been rereading a favorite recently, Little Women, for the umpteenth time and i was reading chapter 7 or 8 (i don't recall which) in which amy burns jo's little book as an act of revenge and jo is dealing with her anger. she describes her anger as all-consuming and wild, growing to the point that you are capable of terrible things and take pleasure in hurting the feelings of others. i read this chapter almost immediately after being exceptionally frustrated and fuming with someone. i was struck by it. i thought back to my behavior and was instantly wholly embarrassed with myself. upon mentioning said situation to the hubster and how i hadn't meant to be awful, he informed me that he had been mildly frightened and on looking on me in that moment had seen malicious intent in my eyes and heard it in my tone. i didn't know what to say. jo's own anger and repentance immediately popped into my head. try as i might, my anger remains my "bosom enemy" as it does jo's, never to be cured, only to learn control. so, if you don't mind, i could really benefit from any prayers you would care to throw my way on this matter. and if you haven't read Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, you should. just saying.
so, this has been quite a month for moving on. i continue to learn more every day. i pray fervently that i may truly learn to love properly from God, who is abounding in love. i pray that i may not fall head first into the all-consuming fires of anger and learn to control my temper and sooth my agitation with lashing out from God, who is slow to anger. i also ask forgiveness from any victims of my anger.
may God continue to work on us all, no matter what our "bosom enemy" may be.
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