end of tournament the fourth

okay, i know i'm more than a little behind. since i didn't actually finish anything in march (i know, i'm terrible), i decided to wait until after round three was over. had trouble getting my act together in the last two months.
anyway, here's what i've gotten done in the last two months.

for round two's technical challenge: the scrap heap, we were challenged to make something from the scraps we had left over from previous projects. i started with a third of a skein of Caron Simply Soft Brites Blue Mint. i feel the need to tell you exactly what it was solely because i have now used the same skein of yarn on four different projects. that and i still haven't used it up. who knew one skein could go that far!? anyway, i decided to make a hat that looks like dr. manhattan's head. you know, from the watchmen. it is really good. if you haven't read it, you should. go ahead. i'll be here when you get back.

for round three's geek pride challenge: follow the leader, we were meant to go back and gain inspiration from a project submitted to previous rounds by someone on a different team. i was inspired by a project from team PI, an open lace crocheted scarf. i have always been jealous of the ease of open lace done in crochet (it is so pretty!), so that project gave me the kick in the pants i needed to go searching for a good open lace knit pattern. and i found one! in a book i already had, no less. so i set about the task of making the Salmon Scarf from One-Skein Wonders: 101 Yarn-Shop Favorites by Judith Durant. it turned out beautifully. when i started it, i had just finished reading Unseen Academicals by Terry Pratchett, and had chain mail on the brain. i swear, especially when i held it up and it caught the light just right, it looked like spun silver. i'm very pleased with it. i was also pleased with myself for my team tie-ins for the challenge (mostly because our team unity project was to have two different tie-ins and i ended up with something like five!). for the main tie-in, there's a webcomic i once a devoted follower of called Real Life. it was really good. pretty sure the reason i stopped reading was finals one semester. anyway, at one point Greg decides that his Renaissance costume should be more in depth (translating to “lots of armor”). he finds instructions and materials online to make his own chainmail. a few months later he has finally completed a chainmail mantle.

something i had been meaning to make for a while was a towel. more specifically, a towel in honor of towel day. "what the heck is towel day?" you may ask. well, towel day occurs every year on May 25 to celebrate the life of Douglas Addams, the author of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy of five. there's even an official website if you want to learn more information about it. anyway, in high school i had a dish towel that i clipped onto my school bag and carried around. actually managed to convert a few of my friends to seeing the infinite usefulness of knowing where your towel is. when i started knitting, one thing i knew needed to be made was a new towel for towel day. so here it is, made from deep purple cotton. love it. i used this pattern from Kaitie's Knits blog. i may rework the letters to be bigger when i make one for my dad (i get my awesome nerdiness from him after all), just so they'll be a little easier to read. if nothing else, i will rework the N. it came out kinda wonky. i am now prepared for this year's towel day.

so yeah, that's everything i've made in the last two months. still working on that baby blanket. it was honestly the only think i worked on for about two and a half weeks. we needed some time apart in order to save our relationship. i know that seems silly, but we've all had friends like that. i believe it also applies to projects and even appliances (hopefully the oven will be healed for good tomorrow). anyway, the snail-ish pace of the blanket put a definite crimp in my inspiration/motivation gland. thus, the low number of projects.

summer seems to have settled upon west texas with the usual speed and disregard for what anyone may say. it is significantly more difficult to motivate myself to knit in the heat (piling fiber on your lap does nothing to help combat said heat). i apologize for my whining on the subject. still working at the whole trust thing. it is one thing to know everything will turn out alright. it is another thing entirely to believe it with every fiber of one's being. dealing with my own dislike of change is rough. keep me in your thoughts on that one. it will be a seriously long road.
may we stay the course, despite the pot holes, and trust with every fiber.

seasons of change are upon us

Nerd Wars began tournament the fourth at the beginning of february! so exciting! i am once again on Team Shady Cels, and am still completely thrilled about it. i was really inspired by the challenges for round one, so much, in fact, that i submitted to three categories. i realize that i've done more in a month in the past, but i simply didn't knit at all in january (recovering from christmas knitting frenzy). therefore, i was really proud of myself for getting back in the swing of things so quickly. so here we go!

for round one's Geek Pride challenge entitled "wove, twue wove"(geek pride replaced team spirit as a category, just fyi), we were supposed to make something that represented a relationship (whether real, implied, or purely fan suggested) within our team's nerdery. i made a set of gold fish intended to look as close to Cosmo and Wanda from the Fairly Odd Parents as possible. afterall, if 9895 years of marriage isn't real love, i don't know what is. i think i did a pretty good job. for those of you playing at home, yes, you are right. i did make a set of the exact same gold fish last october. however, a friend of mine's son is a fan of the show as well and thought they were super cool (he's a pretty awesome kid). so, my friend and i traded. i made her a set of fairly odd fish and she made me the cutest little owls ever (she has taken up needle felting, way spiffy). i feel like this was a completely fair trade.

for the scientific challenge entitled "all for one and one for all," we were supposed to be inspired by the simplicity of nature and unicellular organisms. one way we could do that was by only using one skein of yarn, which is what i did. i used my one skein of lionbrand homespun yarn, and made what i affectionately call fuzzy infinity. it is a simply infinity scarf that is just so skooshy and warm that it makes me all warm and fuzzy, inside and out. plus, i think the colors turned out really beautiful. i wasn't expecting it to be variegated, so the whole thing was a lovely surprise. it was so simple that is was incredibly relaxing to work on. it only took a day, which made me feel good about my knitting speed. i'll definitely be doing many more of these.

for the nerd culture challenge entitled "i, for one, welcome our new man-made overlords," we were supposed to be inspired by technology and human/non-human ingenuity. so, i made a little plushie Winslow from Questionable Content. anyone that has ever seen any of these posts knows that i am startlingly fond of QC. i've been thinking about making either Winslow or Pint Size for a while, and the perfect challenge finally presented itself. another reason i am so proud of my little Winslow is that i was forced to finally figure out real color work, by which i mean not just stripes. i carried him around in my bag for a week after he was done so i could show him to everyone i knew. i got some odd looks that were quickly replaced by smiles as he is just too dern cute not to smile at him.

so, that is what i made last month. i'm pleased with all of the resulting items, i must say. haven't done nearly as much this month, and probably won't. still trying to kick the tail end of terrible allergies/cold. that'll knock into your productivity and motivation. also having a tough time being inspired by the round two challenges. oh well, there's still three solid weeks left in march. we'll just have to see how it goes. the seasons here are getting more sporadic, as is usual for west texas. yesterday was a beautiful 77. today is in the forties and drizzling and windy and miserable. that is supposed to persist into the weekend and next week, but you aren't here for the forecast.

all the screwy weather does remind me that spring is a time for change. whether that means big life changes or small changes in routine or goals, tis the season for it. personally, i am working at keeping an open mind and heart to the changes God has in store for me in this season, whether it be radical or subtle. as i am personally highly non-spontaneous, this isn't particularly easy for me. therefore, i am approaching it as an exercise in trust (and i don't mean like the ever corny trust falls and things of summer camp). i like knowing what is coming. i am terrible and handling change in any form, but i'm learning. however slowly, i am learning.
may we be open-hearted to His will, where ever it may take us

end of the year already!?!

well, here we are at the end of the year. the last couple of months have simply flown by. so many thing have been made, and since Christmas has come and gone again, i can finally share those things with you! stay with me people, this is gonna be a long one.
we'll start with what was unsharable in september and october. september, if you'll remember, was the off month between tournaments (woo! love me some Nerd Wars!). i turned out a couple of things that simply needed doing.

i made this hat for the cousin christmas exchange we do with the hubster's family every thanksgiving. i used the ribbed hat pattern by Hannah Felting from one of my favorite pattern books, One-Skein Wonders, 101 Yarn Shop Favorites. simply love this book for so many reasons. anyway, the recipient really loved it and had been needing a hat for the coming winter! love how that worked out. :)

october arrived with the beginning of Nerd Wars: Tournament the Third. my dad had been asking for a Jayne hat for a while, so i went ahead and made one and stashed it away for christmas this year. for those of you who don't understand the reference here, shame on you. go watch Firefly and Serenity immediately. this will be still be here when you get back. this hat was made in answer to the technical challenge: colortastic. it required the use of at least two different colors. for team tie in (go Team Shady Cels!), i cited one the web comics i read almost religiously, Unshelved. actually, this comic in particular. anyway, i used the My Jayne Hat pattern by Erica Barcott (Ravelry page; login needed). my dad simply loved it. :D

in november, i submitted had a request (which turns out wasn't entirely serious) for a turkey viking hat that one of the cousins had seen online (ah, the wonders of the internet are vast indeed). well, i made it, much to her surprise and delight, using the Jive Turkey Baby Hat pattern by sewgeeky (Ravelry page; login needed). you can see what i fondly refer to as turkey head on the recipient here on his mom's blog. is he not precious!? anyway, i submitted turkey head to the nerd culture challenge: revenge of the nerds, in which you were supposed to explore another team's nerdery that you were unfamiliar with. i decided to look into Team UU, based around the Discworld series written by Terry Pratchett (link to the series map). well, i must say, i'm in love with the series, hands down. it is so much fun! as far as team tie in goes, well, it is turkey head, there are loads of cartoons with thanksgiving specials.

for november's technical challenge: from a different angle (make something involving angles), i made one of the flying keys from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (another one you should go read if you haven't already). i used the "Flying Keys from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" pattern by Kristina Gill (Ravelry page; login needed). for team tie in, i cited another comic read almost religiously, Penny Arcade. this one, actually. one of the creators (and subsequently, his comic counterpart)love the Harry Potter series. it turned out so well that i'm considering covering my Christmas tree in them one year.

for november's giving geeks challenge: it's hip to be a square (blanket square for charity), someone on my team found Project Linus. they only accept whole blankets for donations, so our team banded together to make an entire blanket. this one was mine. we decided to do them all in shades of blue as tribute to linus and his blanket. not all of the squares are quite done yet, but i'll let you know when there's a picture of the finished blanket.

for november's intellectual challenge: periodically scientific (make something inspired by, representative of all or part of an element on the periodic table), i made my mother's christmas present. it is a scarf, as i'm certain you can see, that is blue. it was inspired by the element actinitum. “Owing to its strong radioactivity, actinium glows in the dark with a pale blue light, which originates from the surrounding air ionized by the energetic particles emitted from actinium.” for team tie in, Dr. Manhattan from Watchmen by Alan Moore(yet another you should go read is you haven't) is both and radioactive.

for december's team spirit challenge: nerds in their natural habitat, i made these fingerless mitts for my grandmother for christmas using the 75 Yard Malabrigo Fingerless Mitts pattern by Jeanne Stevenson. i also used Jeny's surprisingly stretchy bind off for the... well... bind off. i call them forever summer because (and here's the team spirit tie in) they are inspired by Phineas and Ferb's backyard. they also strongly remind me of said grandmother's backyard. green grass, blue sky, and clouds with lots of sunshine. good memories.

this one was actually started as my submission for the november team spirit challenge: winter is coming, in which we were supposed to make something for a character within our nerdery for the coming winter. i finished the first week of december and gave it to my delightful sister-in-law for christmas. it is an infinity scarf from the Stockholm Scarf pattern by knittedblissJC (Ravelry page; login needed). i absolutely love the way it turned out. i'll have a better picture of it later (my camera decided to be less than cooperative for Christmas day), i just wanted you to see the stitch pattern. so lovely.
well, that about wraps up the Christmas items i couldn't tell you about before and the other miscellaneous items that i just hadn't told you about from november. it has been an absolutely crazy couple of months.

let me see, what else... oh! still haven't opened an etsy store, haven't really had time to give it the thought lately, what with all the holidays and family and such. i have, however, done some knitting on commission, which is very exciting. i did three super cuddly scarves for friend for Christmas gifts for her family.

i also did this bearded baby beanie for a friend's baby. he is entirely too cute for words in it. i'm very pleased with the way they all turned out. oh! i'm also giving knitting lessons! so much fun! my first student is the most excited, enthusiastic ten-year-old girl i've ever seen. we have so much fun.
so, it has been busy and crazy and wonderful for the last couple months. i'm reminded of how much family means to me (even when they drive me crazy). i'm reminded of all the wonderful gifts this particular season brings. however, i'm mostly inspired by the joy and generosity and overwhelming love that is Christmas to me. so i pray that we may keep this joy, this generosity, and especially this love alive in our hearts, minds, souls, and attitudes as we enter and live in the soon coming new year.
may Christmas truly live on in us, and in everything we do, everyday.

i fell into fall

the past two months have simply flown by (not something i'm used to saying) and they have been great. time for the parade of showable finished knitted items. i'm been working on various christmas gifts of late, so i can't share everything i've made in the past two months at this juncture.
september was the month between tournaments for nerd wars, so i had time to knock a few things out that would be difficult to fit into categories and challenges. unfortunately for you, they were all christmas gifts and i won't be posting pictures until the end of december. sorry about that.
october was the first round of nerd wars: tournament the third. i was sorted onto Team Shady Cels, a team devoted to cartoons, comics, web comics, anime, and manga. i couldn't have been happier. seriously. i love cartoons. more than a person my age should, according to the majority of the people i know. it has been so much fun so far. i'm on a team of people who love them too! huzzah! anyway, again i can't share everything i made this month since several of them are christmas gifts, but i will share everything else.

for the team spirit challenge: you say it's your birthday, i made a worry hat for Hannelore from Questionable Content. now she has her very own and can remove "messing up Martin's worry hat" from her crazy long list of worries. i'm really pleased with the way it turned out. admittedly, it is a tab bigger than i meant for it to be. i used the Warm Up Hat pattern from LionBrand. you can find it here. no lie, i know i didn't actually do the beginning right, but i like the way mine turned out better anyway. i went in the round on dpn's instead of working it flat and seaming it at the end (which i what i think it wanted me to do).

for the nerd culture challenge: best dressed nerds, i made Cosmo and Wanda from Fairly Odd Parents in their goldfish form since Timmy Turner simply can't be done as a costume without his goldfish by his side. once again, i am beyond please with the way they turned out. i think they are super cute. i used the Orb-it Ball pattern by Staci Perry (Ravelry page; login needed) for the bodies and added the rest myself.

as a last minute submission for the intellectual challege: i haiku, you haiku too!, i made a quick little bottle koozie with a rhinoceros on it. the challenge was to create something (potentially inspired by a previously published haiku) and write a haiku to go with it. mine was inspired by a Questionable Content strip from the early days of the comic. this one, actually. i think my rhino is pretty cute, personally.
i also submitted for the technical challenge: colortastic, but you'll have to wait until after christmas to see and hear about that one.

oh! i almost forgot. completely apart from any of the challenges in october, i made several breast cancer awareness ribbons. most of them went to the rest of my team at the bunco for breast cancer event that we went to. the other five (not pictured) went to a friend of mine for her team in the breast cancer walk they are participating in tomorrow. i think they all turned out pretty cute personally.

so, there you have it. it has been a busy couple of months that have yielded a variety of wonderful (in my opinion) knit items that i'm fairly proud of. let's see, what else has been going on... oh! i'm thinking of opening an etsy shop! i haven't yet, so don't get too excited (okay, that was wishful thinking on my part). i'll be letting you know if and when it actually happens. trying to iron out some details first (like what i would sell). there will be some serious, shameless self-promotion happening if and when it comes about, don't you worry.
something i've been reminded of recently is that even though things don't always turn out perfectly or exactly the way you want them, it isn't by any means the end of the world. if you need proof, just ask my test gold fish. i call him special fish, or sf for short. he is far from perfect but still has a smile on his face. plans don't always work out, perfection is almost never achieved. but that is okay. it isn't really about the imperfection, it is about what we put into it and take from it. the attitude with which we regard it. i mean, think about it. with all the imperfection of this world, i think God still looks at it everyday and proclaims anew that "it is good."
may we face each day with the knowledge and attitude that "it is good."

moving on

let me just say that i don't know about you, but for me, july was absolutely crazy.
first the important stuff, knitting. did a good bit of it this last month. submitted to three challenges for nerd wars (one of which was only partially finished). doing my part for the team. woo! go team 4-panel! so, for the nerd culture challenge: big (nerd) love i submitted a d4 shaped dice bag in honor of team meeples. you can find the pattern here.

made it for a friend of mine that also enjoys a round of d&d.
for the team spirit challenge: it's fun to be bad, i submitted a pair of fingerless gloves that would look awesome on poison ivy. however, they are for me for when the weather here dips back down to a temperature that doesn't lend itself to cooking on the sidewalks. sigh, someday. you can find the pattern here (Ravelry page, login needed).

they turned out really well, better than i really expected. i guess i'm improving with my dpns after all. :D

so yeah, july was long for a variety of reasons. after my family finally finished moving my grandparents (mom was super stressed over the whole thing), it was time to pack up my brother and sister-in-law for their move to new york. the week they left was rough. still having a bit of a time with my brother being so far away. to top that week off, the hubster's grandmother departed this world for the heavenly one. the funeral was really sweet and we got to see lots of family that we wouldn't normally. while we are sad she is gone, she had been battling alzheimer's disease since before i even met the hubs (according to him). i learned loads about her that weekend, and was greatly saddened to have never truly met this remarkable woman. when she was herself, she was an amazingly hospitable and godly woman that never met a stranger. i really do wish i could have know her. if you could, please keep the family in your prayers. they've temporarily lost a wonderful wife, mother, and grandmother and could use some uplifting.
so, during this month of losses (some greater than others), i've learned a good bit. i've learned that following your God with all of your heart leads you down a path of love. granted, i technically already knew this. however, really seeing how such actions played out over a lifetime was inspiring and beautiful. i pray i have the courage to follow my God at least half as loyaly as she did.
on a completely unrelated note, i've also learned that i am not as slow to anger as i would like to be. i've been rereading a favorite recently, Little Women, for the umpteenth time and i was reading chapter 7 or 8 (i don't recall which) in which amy burns jo's little book as an act of revenge and jo is dealing with her anger. she describes her anger as all-consuming and wild, growing to the point that you are capable of terrible things and take pleasure in hurting the feelings of others. i read this chapter almost immediately after being exceptionally frustrated and fuming with someone. i was struck by it. i thought back to my behavior and was instantly wholly embarrassed with myself. upon mentioning said situation to the hubster and how i hadn't meant to be awful, he informed me that he had been mildly frightened and on looking on me in that moment had seen malicious intent in my eyes and heard it in my tone. i didn't know what to say. jo's own anger and repentance immediately popped into my head. try as i might, my anger remains my "bosom enemy" as it does jo's, never to be cured, only to learn control. so, if you don't mind, i could really benefit from any prayers you would care to throw my way on this matter. and if you haven't read Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, you should. just saying.
so, this has been quite a month for moving on. i continue to learn more every day. i pray fervently that i may truly learn to love properly from God, who is abounding in love. i pray that i may not fall head first into the all-consuming fires of anger and learn to control my temper and sooth my agitation with lashing out from God, who is slow to anger. i also ask forgiveness from any victims of my anger.
may God continue to work on us all, no matter what our "bosom enemy" may be.

adjustments need to be made...

well, june was quite a month. lots of things going on. i made my first doll as a result of a nerd wars challenge, for instance. she is based on Hannelore Ellicott-Chatham from probably my favorite web comic, Questionable Content. she turned out really well and just so cute! you can see her here.

she was a learning experience for a variety of reasons. for one, i've never made anything stuffed. it wasn't as hard as i thought it would be (granted, she is pretty basic). for two, i had to figure out how to make a tiny little dress without a pattern. i ended up writing my own. i think it turned out pretty well, if i do say so myself. afterall, i did make three other dresses in the process. one of which looks more like a vase than a dress (plus side to that, totally already know what to do if i ever need to make a tiny vase!). for three, i had to figure out how to attach hair. not as easy as you may think (a small amount of trial and error on that one). so, that's what's been done recently. there will definitely be more to report next time.
i had an exceptionally negative attitude for a good chunk of june and the very beginning of july for various reasons that i won't get into here. i generally pride myself on being positive and optimistic and, for the most part, content. the last several weeks, however, i was living on the other side of that coin. when i finally noticed my own negativity, i was dreadfully embarassed with myself. instead of really making the effort to look on the bright side, i had been dragging my poor attitude around and practically beating my friends and family with it. not cool.
it is one of those things where, once i finally realize what i've been doing, i have to stop and really think about what has been causing me to behave that way. to be honest with myself, it is never just one thing or an easy fix. there's usually a small amount of dissatisfaction and a large amount of frustration (generally job related). i know in my head that it is a mind over matter deal. as my mother has said numerous times, "you can do anything for a short amount of time." and much to my chagrin, she's right. and i know that. i practically chant it to myself some days. thing is, i think my mindset has been wrong. i've been thinking of it as something to get through and deal with, but, while that may be true to an extent, there's more to it. there are other things going on too. there's more to life than getting through the next day of the week. there's more than just dealing with it. there's life out there to be lived, not necessarily apart from the daily grind, but along side it in harmony. every life song has some minor undertones to it. they grant it depth and different level of emotion. they don't rule the piece, they add to it in ways that the major tones can't. wow. that metaphor works, but it kinda got away from me.
anyway, i guess my point is that it shouldn't be about the minor tones and what causes them, but how the composer reacts to them and blends them with the rest of the composition (i know, again with the music metaphor, can't help it). okay, i need to abandon that. anyway, you know what i mean. taking the less than wonderful feeling and experiences without letting them rule you. it is hard. i know i can't do this on my own, but being the stubborn human being i am, i keep trying to anyway. i'm just gonna have to try and remember that God is in control and to let him carry me through.
i'm probably going to start sounding like a broken record soon, but my previous prayer still needs saying. God, guide me on a path of contentment and peace that only you can provide.

happy towel day all! :D

today is may 25 or, to nerds in the know, towel day. towel day is celebrated to honor the life and work of Douglas Adams. if you haven't read the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy yet, then i strongly recommend that you do. after all, "A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have."
may has been pretty good so far. since nerd wars: tournament the first ended with april, it has been a month to rest the creative muscle and just relax. as a result, i made my first pair of fingerless mitts, which you can see here.

they didn't turn out as well as i would have liked, but i'm still practicing with double pointed needles. all things considered, i really like them. bonus: my hands no longer turn to ice cubes at work! huzzah for working hands!
speaking of nerd wars, tournament the second is starting at the beginning of june! i've applied for different teams this time around, so i'm hoping i get my first choice. i'll know on friday when they announce the rosters. if i do get my first or second choice, i've already got a variety of ideas and i couldn't be more excited about some of them. :D w00t!
so, in this month of no deadlines, i learned that i can get things done in a timely fashion without the pressure of said deadlines to push me. got my mitts done in less than a week (i think keeping track of the actual hours of work would make me super neurotic)! so proud of myself. it feels like i'm growing in a variety of ways and i know that isn't my doing. God is so good. i just pray that He continues to show me things the way He has been. it is such a wonder to experience the smallest percentage of the joy i know He has when working on His own creations. i know my own joy doesn't really compare, but creation isn't a contest. it is a labor of love on so many levels.
i can't wait to see what He has in store for me.

april is, finally, over.

wow. i'd like to start by praising God that i lived through the last month. i am fully convinced that i would have been a much angrier and vengeful person without Him. now, on with everything else.
april signified the last round of Nerd Wars: Tournament the First. so, of course, i submitted things for a couple of challenges. first, in the Giving Geeks category, the challenge was tsunami and earthquake relief. there were a great many suggestions as to what one could do to contribute. i chose to make the DanDoh scarf in green. please read about it here on the designer's blog. i chose to think of it as one is supposed to think about a prayer shawl (or at least the way i choose to think about a prayer shall). when i make a prayer shawl, i have a specific person in mind for it. as i work on it, i keep them in my thoughts, pray for them and the things going on in their lives. as the knitter (and this may just be me), i find it to be an incredibly moving experience. my goal during prayer shawl creation is to be consumed, not by the knitting, but by intersession. don't get me wrong, i'm not terribly good at it, my mind has a serious tendency to wander about without my noticing immediately. but hey, it is something i'm trying to train myself in. i have a good feeling that i'm going to treat baby blankets the same way when i eventually start making them. anyway, second, in the Team Spirit category, the challenge was EXTREME ULTRA MEGA BIG CHALLENGE OF DIFFICULTY (their use of capitalization, not mine). it actually had nothing to do with team spirit at all, to the point that you couldn't get team spirit points due to the nature of the challenge (the name of which was rather misleading). it revolved around spring cleaning. the objects was to finish up two works-in-progress (wips). i finished the only one i had and then did some stash busting for the second half of my entry. for my wip, i finished up my brother's hat. his wife had requested a hat for him in grey. his only request was that it be long enough to cover his ears. for my stash buster (an item made to use up some amount of yarn in one's yarn stash), i used up the last of some red and white cotton i had. i made three headbands (only one of which i liked and have worn). the first is three braided i-cords (this is the best one). on the second, i attempted to put a diamond shape in the middle, causing the whole thing to function better as an eye patch than a headband. on the third, i ran out of yarn, so it turned into a bracelet or anklet instead. ce la vie. the point is that i did enough to get all of the points for the challenge (using up yarn i didn't know what else to do with was definitely a bonus though).
so, at this point in what is now may, i am working on a gift for a delightful nine-year-old girl (more about that later) and trying to decide is want to participate in tournament the second that starts in june. having trouble deciding. also, if i participate again, do i want to change teams? again, having trouble deciding. let me know if you have any thoughts on the matter.
so, this past month has been more than a little trying (loads of work related stress). as a result, i've been working on adjusting my attitude. i know that i won't stay at my job forever, just until tiny ones entire our lives. so, i'm currently seeing the whole thing as a means to an end, which doesn't really seem like the best view of the situation either. as my mother would (and has) say, "you can survive anything for short amount of time when the end is clear." i know that. however, i'm coming to personally see it a tad differently. i know i can get through anything for a short time. i know that the end result will be worth it. however, seeing it as temporary only removes a very small portion of the frustration involved. i'm seriously working at cultivating a more positive, more healthy attitude, and i know that i'm going to need arm-loads of support and love from friends and family, but mostly from God. i'm going to complain less because let's face, as human beings, we enjoy wallowing in our own self-pity. there's no point and it helps noone. so, there's my first effort. i'm going to look harder for the positive, since every cloud has a silver lining (cliche, i know, however it rings true). i'm generally pretty good at this. in the work aspect of my life, however, i am not. so there's the second. i think i'll just work on two for now and add on later.
God, please guide me on a path of contentment and peace that only you can provide.

survived the ides of march

another month is almost gone and has it ever been a crazy one.
first, let's talk finished knit items. nerds wars has been an excellent motivater for really buckling down and crnaking knittiness out. my submission for the intellectual challenge this month was this hyrulian hat. the hubster loves it! it shall keep him safe on his daily quest to serve the powers that be and save the damsel in distress. really pleased with that one. my submission for the scientific challenge was my attempted duplication of a frost flower. once again, i'm really pleased with how it turned out (after a couple tries). (in the event that you can't see the pictures, they are also on my facebook) so pleased, in fact, i'm thinking of trying to do more flowers. i've been working out of this book and i'm having some pretty good luck with it. i'm also starting to think about teaching myself to crochet almost solely so i can make a zillion of the daffodils in the book. so bright and sunny and happy.
i mean, who doesn't like flowers? really? granted, cut flowers make me sad because i know they are going to wilt and die fairly soon (i know, lame). i would leap at having flowers all over our yard. unfortunately, i have a killer thumb (as opposed to a green thumb) and every plant i've ever had has died. poor things, they really didn't have a chance with me. anyway, flowers are just so pure and innocent, created that they would add beauty to this world. i love looking out the window while driving across the state. the wildflowers are just amazing. sigh. anyway, God did a pretty awesome job when it came to flowers.
now for the part of the month that has been less than stellar. the non-profit i currently work for has been restructuring. therefore, my job has changed drastically. i am immensely thankful to still have a job, don't get me wrong. however, i would have liked to have been consulted as to whether i wanted to do the work of two people. so, it has been a month of learning and attempting to do a new job while also doing to old one. there have many instances of me wandering the floor and sitting in the offices of others so i would simply not be at my desk for a few minutes. it has felt like my head was on the verge of imploding for the last several weeks. today, however, is a down day. finally. it feels good to not be running around like mike the headless chicken (yes, he is real. go look him up).
all the craziness has reminded me of several things this month that i really needed to be reminded of.
1. God is in control and He knows what He's doing.
2. He will not throw anything at me that He doesn't know i can handle. this is one i struggle with, personally. there have definitely been times lately where i was sure that i was being set up for failure. deep down this wasn't something i truly believed, but in my stressed out nearly-hyperventalating state, logical thinking wasn't really top priority. continuing brain function was.
3. we are in community for a reason. i would not have gotten through this month with the amazing woman whose job i took over (she got moved to being a case manager). she is astounding. i don't know how she did this every month, but i suppose i'll figure it out if i don't implode. also wouldn't have made it without several other co-workers and the hubster. they talk to me and help me calm down. he keeps me grounded and is always reminding me that i really can do this (we had both forgotten how easily i get overwhelmed some times). they all have my love and gratitude.
4. prayer really does work. He really is listening. He wants to help us. we just have to swallow our pride and ask. just asking for peace and calm throughout the days and getting it was, literally, a God send.
so, to wrap up, God is good. all the time. He meets you right where you are, no matter where that happens to be, and is exactly what you need. at least, i've been reminded that He is exactly what i need, not just throughout the craziness, but in every moment.
God, thank you for being my daffodil amidst the gloom.

round one: complete

round one officially came to a close on monday. i got my prime scarf submitted just in time (it was a very long day)(also if you can't see the picture through the link, they are all on my facebook here).
so, i promised to tell you all about my prime scarf. well, it was almost entirely based on a delightfully fabulous conversation from big bang theory (w00t for Team Bazinga!).

Sheldon: What is the best number? By the way, there's only one correct answer.
Raj: 5,318,008?
Sheldon: Wrong! The best number is 73. [Short silence] You're probably wondering why.
Leonard & Howard: No no, we're good.
Sheldon: 73, is the 21st prime number, it's mirror 37 is the 12th and it's mirror 21 is the product of multiplying, hang on to your hats, 7 and 3. Did I lie?
Leonard: We did it! 73 is the... Chuck Norris of numbers!
Sheldon: Chuck Norris wishes! In binary, 73 is a palindrome, 1001001, which backwards is 1001001, exactly the same. All Chuck Norris gets you backwards is Sirron Kcuhc!
Raj: Just for the record, when you enter 5,318,008 in a calculator, upside down it spells BOOBIES!

so, now you have a frame of reference. the challenge in the intellectual category in round one was prime numbers. therefore, my prime scarf is 73 inches long, 37 stitches wide, has 7 stripes, and has 3 colors. each little clover-thingy has 3 leaves and the colors of the stripes are arranged to represent 73 in binary (purple green green purple green green purple).
not gonna lie, i'm rather proud of myself. there was some frustration when, on all three of the last stripes, i ran out of the color i was using with only an inch and a half left. it was beyond irritating to have to go out and get an entire new skein in each color for only the last tiny bits. it was especially lame on saturday when i ran out of the purple i used at 8pm. i thought, "okay, just run to walmart two minutes away and grab another." got to walmart. they were completely out of the shade i needed. awesome. so i tootled my way to michael's (across town) to try again. i get there and they don't even carry the shade i'm looking for. it is now 8:30pm. i start fervently praying that hobby lobby closes at 9pm instead of the suspected 8pm. i get there at 8:40pm to see the manager locking the door. sigh. at this point i've driven in a decently large circle that resulted in disappointment. then it finally occurs to me that there is, in fact, a second walmart that i have not tried. i scoot myself back over to it (it is right my michael's, lame, i know). they have ten skeins of the shade i need. so, after purchasing it, i complete circle number three and finally go home at 9pm. epic, i know.
there, now you have all the details (i know you were chomping at the bit in anticipation, it's okay).
i actually started planning for round two yesterday and i am beyond excited about my plans. new things to learn and try out! huzzah! once again, i'll have more details as i finish things. suffice it to say, if all goes the way i want it to, i'm going to have some seriously delightful things to share. :D
frustration has a way of sneaking up on me without my noticing until it has pounced and sucked out all of the pleasant thoughts i was having before its arrival. i know this about myself. so does God, i'm certain. while frustration has a tendency to push other away from us, it also brings us together in an odd way. we share our frustrations and bond over them, causing them to no longer be something nasty. they turn into a connection point. afterall, very few problems in this world are new (we tend to repeat history regularly). therefore, there is always someone that's been there and done that and gotten through it relatively unscathed that can help us through when it is our turn. while i don't think that God sends us into suffering for His own amusement, i know that He doesn't let anything at us that we simply cannot handle. granted, handling it alone isn't His plan. He's here for us, as are the people around us. He puts us in community for a reason. if we were meant to do it all alone, there wouldn't even be a "we." thank His goodness that "we" is where He wants us, so we can thrive.

pushing through the fog

okay, i promised i would give more detail about my prime scarf. well, you are gonna have to keep waiting for those (you are completely heart broken, i know). i did, however, want to give a small update on how it is going. well, it isn't done yet. i know, what have i been doing for the last two weeks. answer: knitting like a crazy person and battling the ever present tired monster. i am nearly done with stripe number five, so there are only two left. i only have until monday to get it finished. therefore, you will definitely be hearing all about next week. there have been several hiccups along the way (stupid yo or lack there of), which have caused an increase in my foul language (not something i'm proud of) and a large amount of ripping out and redoing. frustration abounds, resulting in a mildly frightened hubster (sorry darling!).
a good chunk of my recent frustration is the direct result of how tired i've been over the last several weeks (could've been longer, that's just when i noticed it). i'll be working away in the evening and be suddenly overwhelmed by an incredible sense of "i must sleep now or die" kind of feeling, which almost inevitably leads me to basically passing out in my chair. lame, i know. so this has impeded progress significantly. hopefully, over the next couple of days, i will be able to overcome what seems to be an unending obstacle and crank out the last twenty someodd inches in time to wash and block on sunday.
well, i suppose this could be considered a test of my endurance and perseverance. i know, not a terribly large test of such things, but hey, it is big to me! Nerd Wars is encouraging me to push myself. speed is something i'm not too amazing at to start with. being tired all the time is not helping. i'll just have to keep pressing on and praying through it. i personally believe that God wants us to succeed in our endeavors and to help us along the way. He is fulling capable and has equipped us to follow Him. so, here i am, reaching out, asking that He help me along the way. i'm doing my best Lord, that's all i can really do without your hand to hold along the way. together, we'll do better.

buckle down and turn it out.

okay, i finished yet another bordering-on-ridiculously-late christmas gift last night, just in time to give it to her as she arrived to go to dinner. katie, i'm glad you liked your bright red scarf. i'm really happy with how it turned out. it was what i was working on on the side during the whole dice bag frustration. something nice and relaxing to work on. i've come to the conclusion that having a less stressful project that is ready, willing, and able to be picked up and put down when that is what you need is an awesome thing. i do believe that i will be maintaining a side project from now on, potentially.
took a poll around the office (i asked elizabeth and karen) about which of three ideas i would work on first for the first round of Nerd Wars. it was decided that the Prime Scarf would be the first project, entered under the intellectual category. so far, it is 8.25 inches long. i know. however, i did only start it two days ago. cut me some slack (but not too much, there is a deadline after all). i'm really excited about it. more details later. teehee. :)
also, i definitely discovered earlier this week that i've been doing the knit stitch wrong. for about five years. may i just say, my world stopped completely for a solid five minutes upon this discovery. i then pulled out some yarn to test the new way. at this point, my world decided to stop standing on its head and stand up properly for the first time. this was a game changer. the hubs spent a solid half hour trying to calm me down (mild hysterics had come to pass). he was very sweet and patient (thank you darling) and sucessfull, eventually. anyway, i'm using the correct stitches now. still trying to figure out the best way to cast on now. it will just take practice, i'm certain. i'll keep you posted.
i'm tryng to really push myself to improve. the whole accurate knit stitch thing was an eye opener. speed is slowly increasing. i, personally, feel that improving one's self is exceptionally important to mental well being. in my experience, when i'm just sitting around, gathering dust, i feel really crappy. i'm moody and cranky and generally unpleasant to be around. however, when i'm working on something that challenges me, even if it is only a little, i'm continuously talking about it, thinking about it, trying to work it out in my head and my hands, doodling about it. i'm motivated, not just to keep working on that, but other things as well. i'm more likely to be tidy and active in general. honestly, i think God wired us this way. to be motivated and excited by things that challenge us. when we aren't motivated, we get rather complacent. never good. but when we are challenged, we stretch ourselves mentally, emotionally, physically, even spiritually. it is legitimately helps us grow as people. i think God really enjoys watching and helping us grow in all ways. i believe that as we grow in all these ways, we also grow closer to Him. isn't it amazing the way that works? i'm honestly awed when i've learned something new, not because i did it, but because of where it takes me. people are always changing, and i refuse to believe that God doesn't have a hand in every moment of it.

after four days of snow

while i probably should have updated while basically snowed in (this is west texas after all), there were other things that devoured my attention instead (i.e. persona 3 portable). for instance, i completely forgot to inform you all that i am an exceptionally proud member of the Team Bazinga! for Nerd Wars: tournament the first! i am having serious difficulty deciding what to work on first. would love some suggestions. i did, however, finish a couple of things up just in time for a good friend's birthday! i don't recall having mentioned it before, but i found a pattern for a dice bag shaped like a four sided die! stupendously awesome! so i made it for one of my best friends (we d&d together) for his birthday. i actually made two. one to test out the pattern and one to give to him. in my personal opinion, the first one came out better for reasons i am completely unable to explain. go figure.
being stuck at home for a week was both nice and mildly frustrating. dear hubby was stuck home too (nice). however, as the week went on, he tired of the things he was doing and decided it was more entertaining to pester me (less nice). everything was fun though.
i did spend a good chunk of time just staring at the snow out the window, especially the first day. no one was out and about until later in the day, so the seven inch blanket of frosty delight was clean. pure. completely undisturbed, as if promising that once it bid us farewell we would be venturing forth into a land of fresh opportunity. it was really very inspiring to just watch it sparkle in what little sun light there was that morning, knowing that every day really is fresh with promise and opportunity.
i feel, personally, that i need to start truly seeing every day that way, as a fresh new world despite the distinct lack of sparkliness on a regular basis. perhaps God was trying to tell us something this week while forcing us to slow down. perhaps looking out with new eyes and seeing the wonder of it all every day, without inclement weather dictating your actions, and really stopping to appreciate all that He has given us is more important than we want to think.
so, as the snow and ice slowly fade from the landscape, let it also fade from our frosty outlooks. let's all work on warming our perspective up a tad and thawing out our dreams and expectations for good. i am fairly certain we weren't created to exist so frostily.

already getting excited

okay, i got the wedding shawl all done (string tucking, washing, etc.) the night before the wedding this past weekend. it turned out really well. i'm exceptionally pleased with the results and will probably be using this pattern again soon, probably a narrower version for a scarf. she loved it, as far as i could tell it being a stressful day and all for her. she was beautiful. the ceremony was lovely (i actually managed to not cry for this one, miraculously). all in all, a wonderful day.
the major winter project is now out of my hair and i can move on to other smaller items (christmas catch up and an up-coming birthday or two).
i am beyond stoked about what is starting at the beginning of february. NERD WARS!!!! basically (from what i understand), it is a three month crafting tournament being hosted on ravelry.com for all the nerdy among us. there will be a challenge each month that must be fulfilled through knitting (my method of choice), crocheting, spinning, or weaving an item that fits into one of six categories (still working on how i'll do that). also, everyone is on different teams, all of which revolve around different fandoms (i.e. team enterprise will be full of star trek fanatics). i filled out my sign-up form yesterday and am anxious to find out what team i'll be on. it is going to be a long week and half of waiting on the answer. but don't worry, you'll be among the first to know.
i've never done a tournament before, so i am a) nervous that i won't be able to finish my entry each month, b) thrilled to be competing with fellow fanatics, and c) pumped that i've got deadlines and a great way to push myself creatively and skill-wise. this is going to be a good growing experience, i can feel it.
i've never been a terribly athletic individual (not coordinated enough for team sports). therefore, i am deliriously happy to be on a team like this. the forums are places of encouragement and sharing ideas, helping each other through the issues they are facing and finding solutions to problems together. cheering each other on and reveling in a team mate's success. earning the points and bringing your team honor. having been raised in west texas, it reminds me a lot of high school football with substantially less disappointment and anger when there's a loss. same kind of "your victory is our victory" feeling, sharing the love... you get the idea.
fellowship is what it comes down to, being a part of a larger community that is working toward glory. whether that means earning points for my nerd wars team (which ever it may be) or seeking to glorify God through every action and interaction, fellowship is what this comes down to. i cannot find the appropriate words for how important and wonderful fellowship, in all its forms, is.
i. can't. wait. :)

resolution time again.

well, here we are again. the beginning of january. so far, it hasn't been anything amazing. dear hubby has been sick for the entirety of 2011 thus far. hopefully, he'll be up and moving again this evening.
the wedding shawl is going very well, which is good considering it must be complete by friday. it has added quite a bit of green to my life (it covers my legs completely while i work on it). i like green, so it isn't anything bad.
so with this last project that was started in 2010 coming rapidly to a close, i've been trying to decide what i want to accomplish in 2011. first, i simply must finish with christmas (yes, i realize that was two weeks ago). i've got about three hats and a scarf to do for that. second, a good friend's birthday at the beginning of february. after those are done, i'll be pretty much knitting for whatever i choose. perhaps i'll finally make myself something. we'll have to wait and see.
as far as new year's resolutions go, we are planning on tidying our home once a week, probably saturday mornings. obviously, with a sick hubby, this hasn't actually happened yet. he tends to leave disaster in his wake when he is ill. it isn't worth the effort to clean it up when you know that you'll just have to do it again the next day. so weird.
new years always remind me of all the second chances we receive. we, as the human race, have a serious habit of messing up in serious ways. adam and eve started it all, and while God did cast them out of the garden, he never truly abandoned them. when he decided to start over with noah and the ark, he promised not to do that again and still stuck with us. through all of our wars and disagreements with each other, he still stands beside us, trying to guide us to peace. and here we are at the start of another new year. what will we do with this chance? i like resolutions. i like the idea of writing them down to see how you did later in the year. here seems like as good a place as any. so here we go.
my resolutions for 2011:
-i'm going to work on loving properly, the way God does, without judgement.
-i'm going to give more of myself to others without expectations.
-i'm going to work on improving in knitting and possibly cooking.
-i'm going to continue to chase after the creator and seek to learn more from his creation through my own.
well, wish my luck and remember me in your prayers. i have a good feeling that i'm going to learn quite a bit. also that i'll be good a broken down in the process. however, i know God is fully capable of creating new from what is old and broken.

christmas, and beyond!

well, christmas is officially behind us now. did the vacation road trip things with my family, which was a very long car trip for six adults in a mini van. 22 hours one way. we took a picture upon arrival. not gonna post it here but suffice it to say, we looked rough. we had loads of fun in disney world (mom has probably posted pictures on facebook, or will be soon). there were frustrating moments, but as this is probably the last time we will all be in the same location (brother and wife are moving soon), it was worth spending time together.
christmas itself was great as well. the scarf, chain chomp hat, and ear warmer were all well received. i got what was probably the highest praise for the hat i've ever gotten (other than "i just love it"). sister-in-law said that it looked store bought! my homemade hat looked professional enough to be purchased in a store! possibly the best compliment i could ask for. period.
so, started working on the wedding shawl on the way to florida (what else is there to do in a car for twenty-two hours) and kept working on it on the way back. it is about a third of the way done (i think) and i am currently praying my heart out that i don't run out of yarn. i ended up using bigger needles (15s instead of 9s) after three test runs and much forum reading for advice on ravelry. this is my first time doing lace and i really want it to look right. so far so good. thank you blocking red heart super saver forum! you were unbelievably helpful. i washed and dried it and it turned out well. i just hope the same thing works on "I Love This Yarn!" because if it doesn't, i may cry. yes, that really is the name of the yarn i'm using. yes, it is an odd name for yarn. oh well, it was the right color.
so that is that. i've also started on a little phone cozy for my office mate (her birthday is the day after mine!) and it should finish up quickly, i just need to sit down and do it.
to sum up my knitting deadlines, i'm definitely in a crunch. i'll keep you posted on how it goes. then i'll be going back through my queue to see where i want to go from there. so much knitting, so little time!!!
all this creation is getting me thinking about new-ness. each finished project goes out and starts a life with someone. it is sent out to better others and pread happiness and cheer. it reminds of the new year that is coming up, full of possibility and promise. it makes me want to renew some old promises i made myself a while back. i'll post about that later. i'm going to really work on leaning on God more. He'll get me through it all. after all, that is His promise.
Happy Christmas all. keep the christmas spirit alive all of this next year.

christmas is upon us!

well, it is mid december and i've gotten all of the christmas knitting done that i'm going to. i finally finished the chain chomp hat for my brother. also, after much frustration and the realization that i am super easily distracted, i got my sister-in-law's headband/ear warmer done. also, had mom's scarf done a while back and can't remember if i posted it. huzzah! i can't wait to see their faces (hopefully full of joy) when they open them.
i love christmas. okay, mostly i love giving gifts. i personally feel that giving homemade gifts is awesome (obviously). i do it because i feel that making it myself means putting love into every stitch. my recipients mean the world to me and this is the best way i've been able to come up with to share my love for them with them. it is personal. you think about them the whole way through the process, doing your best to tailor it to them. yes, it takes substantially more time, but the finished item is completely unique. think about it. God did the same thing. the perfect gift that was completely unique and irreplaceable. He put all of His love for us into from beginning to end. that was probably the best Christmas gift ever.
so, it is official. the very best gifts are homemade and come straight from the heart. i guess i'm just taking my cues from the Creator on this one. i'm okay with that completely.

one done only to start another

okay, it is practically december and i have completed another christmas present. finally. it was the headband from hell. this was one of those projects where it should have only taken a quarter of the time it actually took to finish it. so irritated with myself. i probably had to pull out a good eight inches total along the way due to my being slightly distracted. however, it is now done and you can see it here.
so, all that frustration aside, we now have a grand total of (insert drum roll here) four completely finished items and one that still needs eyes. so almost five. considering my considerable lack of speed (in my opinion, not shared by my non-knitting relatives), not bad at all. so, now i'm moving on to the wedding shawl. technically, it should be a couple more hats, but my gracious father and dear hubby have decided that the shawl should take priority since it has the hardest deadline. aren't they the sweetest!?
anyway, the wedding shawl. my best friend is getting married at the beginning of january (it should be cold) and is wearing a strapless dress (gorgeous but not entirely practical for the weather), so i've decided to make her a shawl to keep her warmer. she knows it is coming as she helped me find the exact color of yarn she wanted, surprisingly an exact match of main wedding color (not actually surprising). so, tonight's goal is to do a swatch, probably a little bigger than the average swatch. this is mostly because i'm going to practice the wet blocking on it. yay for learning a new skill!
awesome. so, the wedding shawl. i'm really excited about this for a couple of reasons. first, ever since i got married, i absolutely fall apart at weddings. lame. i know. anyway, i go to pieces every single time because i flash back to my own vows and the feeling of security and love and hope that went with them (and still do). so every time i hear someone else (especially someone close to me) saying their vows, i can just see their eyes light up with promise and the knowledge that they'll be sharing their journey from that moment on (i'm a bit of a sap). this shawl is going to be their for their journey. second, and i'm fully aware of how corny this is going to sound, God. i know, but bear with me on this one. they are getting married two weeks after christmas, the entrance of Christ into our journey. there are many references to God looking on his people as a bridegroom looks on his bride. so, this whole life journey as partners thing always refers straight back to our relationship and journey with God. just like her soon-to-be husband (if not more so), He will be by her side for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse. i am so excited to see her start on this journey for three (her, him, and Him). i'm liable to embarrass myself with tears at this one.

how can i keep from singing...

i think God is trying to tell be something today, because as soon as i reached the point this morning that i decided that i was not a fan of this day in any way, shape, or form, the song that pops into my head and refuses to vacate the premises is this one:

"There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing"

i love this song. perhaps my day will start to improve now. here's hoping.

sing with me, how great...

i am that nerd that will sing, out loud, whatever song happens to be stuck in my head. if i don't know all the words, i will be whistling at full volume. this is liable to happen anywhere. parking lots are common. work, more often than i care to admit. home, all the time. you get the idea. doesn't matter at all what the song is. if i'm thinking about babies, it will be a lullaby. if i just got out of my car, it is more than likely to be oldies. if there isn't a thing going through my head, there will suddenly burst forth a song from church. perhaps God is trying to tell me something.
on the rare occasion that words or whistling isn't spouting forth from my mouth, i can almost guarantee that i am moving. if i'm standing up, i will be dancing about. if i'm seated, i call it chair dancing and head bobbing. i try to make sure there isn't anyone around, however i'm seldom successful. i'm far too easy to sneak up on. this is especially problematic when at a store of any kind, they always have something playing.
i know all of this is rather random, but i was reading adam young's blog and couldn't help thinking about this. i must say in response to that particular post, that i am completely guilty of crying every time that song is sung at church, to the point that it would be exceptionally embarrassing if anyone turned around and noticed. an "i'm fine" is never a sufficient answer when surrounded by people that love you. go figure.
anyway, all of this thinking led me to ponder, where did this particular reaction to music in general come from? well, the singing and humming and whistling came from mama. no question about it. the one of the things i distinctly recall from every age i've been is my mother's humming. not necessarily a tune of any kind. just humming. it was always, and continues to be for that matter, the most soothing sound in the entire world. followed by running water. i dunno, i guess continuing the music on after what others can hear has died away is possibly the most comforting thought i've got. some things never die away. there's a metaphor there that i really don't think needs to be explained (your hint: God's love). one of those things is definitely my mother's humming. it is like a heart beat. i think my heart hums, possibly along with a greater song, the audible music for which is simply turned too low to be heard by most.
the dancing part is easy. that comes from two places: my parents and my dance teacher. my parents because when i would (and still do) dance around like a crazy person will assure that i am, in fact, not crazy and will often join me in whatever movement is happening at the time. my dance teacher for helping me actually be coordinated and loving me despite how bad i'm certain i was at times. thanks teri. you'll probably never truly understand how much class with you did for me and my self-confidence.
all that to say, God is so good. i think the singing and dancing and music are the closest i've gotten to communing with him. i think knitting is getting close to that level. after all, His creativity begot ours and praise comes in every form there is.
no point is holding it back. praise him with everything you've got (no matter how crazy you think you may look).